Elopement (Kawin Lari)
Getting married is still
considered sacred in Indonesia, especially in Lampung Province, where tradition
and culture have been upheld by the society of Lampung tribe. In addition,
marrying a woman of Lampung tribe may cost a lot of money.
Lampung families are known to like
carrying out an expensive wedding ceremony especially those who are considered well
off. The bridegroom to be is normally requested to prepare financial support to
cover a wedding reception expenses that may incur and to purchase furniture
that will be given to the bride and bridegroom when they leave the parents’
house after the wedding reception is over.
Not all prospective bridegrooms are financially capable of supplying
what parents' bride require. What does a man who wants to marry a woman of
Lampung tribe have to do to avoid high cost of a wedding reception?
There is one way out to avoid it and it is still possible for a
man to pop the question. This is what is known in Lampung tradition as
elopement. The man and the woman arrange that should go away together, usually
to one of his relatives to stay there temporarily until his plan to marry her
is approved of by the parents' bride to be. Usually the elopement turns out to
be successful. Both families meet to arrange what the party will be like. The
meeting usually discusses the financial capability of the man to cover wedding
reception cost. Since the man has eloped with the woman, requested cost is
usually lower.
In reality, the woman’s parents
and relatives help share the wedding reception cost, the amount of which is
usually much higher than the man has to prepare. Lampung families support one
another whenever one of the family members or relatives will hold not only a
wedding reception but also other ceremonial events. This is something Lampung
tribe should be proud of as this mutual support may not be found in other
Indonesian cultures and traditions.
The fact that Lampung families
always require big amount of money for their daughters’ wedding reception has
discouraged many men who want to marry women from Lampung tribe. Because of
this Lampung single women find it hard to have boyfriends to marry them. Some of
them succeed in getting married at the age of 28 – 30, while other Indonesian
women usually got married at the age of 24 – 27.
Nowadays, it seems that old tradition of marrying their daughters is not fully followed, considering the fact that men will think twice before they pop the question. Some of the Lampung families are willing to marry off their daughters without requiring high cost that is to be born by prospective bridegrooms.
